"Why?"

"Why?"

That's a question that students ask about a lot of things at school.

Two friends enjoying their time together: "Why can't we sit next to each other?"
A kid who is sitting off from the group but doing her work: "Why can't I just stay here?"
Students in a class meeting: "Why do we need to take this class?"

A a representative of the state, these questions feel challenging. When I respond as a representative of the state, my answers are hollow and fumbling.  Neither the student nor my conscience is satisfied.

But as a person who loves critical thought, I really enjoy them. When I respond as a fellow critical thinker, I usually end up saying "I don't know," and stop fighting.

 The past few weeks (the first few weeks of my teaching career) I feel like I was way more focused on controlling student behavior than looking for moments of student learning and insight.  I can't tell you Why. 

Today I was sick and didn't have the energy to fight students on things.  So I just let go.  I posed questions and looked for awesome responses.  They were there.  I was witness to passion and thinking.  That's why I'm doing this job that at times feels absurd and impossible.

Certainly there were some kids who talked over me a lot, some who barely did any work.  This isn't necessarily acceptable, but at the same time I understand that we really learn when we are ready to. So perhaps that kind of behavior is inevitable.

Indeed, I really believe that power struggles and student disengagement is inevitable in the model of schooling we have.  That's not even a very radical outlook on education.  Almost every educator I talk to feels the same way, at least to some degree.  I'm about to pull this number out of nowhere, but let's say 80% of educators understand that the system or model of public education we use creates a lot of power struggles and disengagement. It's not as much the fault of teachers, students, or families but the structure we find ourselves in.  We demand abnormal levels of disciplined performance by educators, students, and families just to keep the model going.

My question is, "Why are we still using it?"  The students I teach would like to know too.